Monthly Archives: July 2010

Okay, Now I’m Pissed

I admit I have been an emotional roller coaster since losing my job, one second I laugh, the next I cry.

I’m at the coffee shop where I’ve been perched on an uncomfortable stool at a counter for the past two hours researching jobs, sending out a resume, checking in on Twitter, Facebook, and Gawker to help pass the time, when I there it was at the top of Monster.com: Communications Manager. The job I was “discharged” from. Of course the description has been tweaked, which I can’t help but take personally.

“Proven superior writing and editing skills requiring little or no peer/​manager review.” I’m sorry, but everything that goes to the public should have at least 2 pairs of eyes look at it. Maybe I should have made a bigger deal out of the typos I found in her and others printed materials…but I thought I was being the “bigger person.” I still pat myself on the back for the typos I found including the misspelling of “nonprofit” on a printed piece that was about to go to major foundations.

Hours: 8:30am-6:30 pm. Ironic since the boss only works four days a week in the office about 8 am – 3:30 pm (though she claims she works all the time offline. Sure). Let’s not forget I took a lunch hour maybe 5 times, the rest of the time I sat at my desk, nor did I have that much work to suck up 10 hours a day…oh the description also says “fast paced.” It was truly anything but. Not to mention now it’s a “temp to perm after 3 months position.” Smart, because now it outright says “I reserve the right to fire you.”

“…over-achieving traits in previous roles would be at home in this environment.” Read: snob. Do you think you’re smarter and better than those around you? Do you have an intellectual in notation in your voice? Do you feel the need to make others around you feel stupid (i.e. explain to someone with a Master’s degree in Nonprofit management the meaning of a 501C3?)?

I suppose I was hoping they would decide not to fulfill this role. That they would give serious consideration into looking into the boss’s management and (lack of) communications skills. I suppose I wanted her to get in some sort of trouble. It was a nightmare, and reading this assured me that I’m happy it’s over. I’m not happy I don’t have a job, but happy I don’t have to deal with the bull sh*t.

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Moving Forward

At this time, 10:17 am, one week ago, I was fired.

I had only been at the job for 10 and a half weeks so I didn’t even think it was possible, but it was tricky from the get go. I was not only navigating a new field, but a volatile personality. I can sit here and write a post about my nightmare experience, but I can’t change the damage that’s been done. My ego will be bruised for a while, I will panic about money and question every penny I spend, my plans of moving are derailed, I have doubts about my abilities, about my professionalism, about what I want to be when I grown up–except for the fact that I’m 31.

I’ve found a temporary office at the corner coffee shop where I’ve joined the ranks of the fellow unemployed, the freelancers, the folks retired, the college students, and the mom’s with stroller’s getting out of the house for a short break. I haven’t fully accepted that this is my life yet, but it’s a day-to-day process. I won’t allow myself to be completely paralyzed however. I have updated my Linkdin, sent out a couple of resumes, and swallowed the humiliation and contacted a few key people within my network. It’s important to me that I process this blip in my life (it doesn’t seem like a blip now, but I have been assured by some very smart folks that it will indeed be a “blip”), but also move forward.

I assure you, the underdog will triumph, again.

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