Music and other thoughts at 1:03 am

I wish I knew how to really articulate myself when it comes to writing about music. When I talk about music I use adjectives like: amazing, soulful, awesome, rockin’, and if I’m really feeling frisky, badass. There is a skill very few have when it comes to writing about music. For me it’s a feeling. It’s a resonantion of a time or feeling. Music can be our friend when we are mad (I crank Fiona Apple), lonely (Carol King), hopeful (Mavis Staples), hopeful for love (Ray LaMontagne), in love (Ben Harper), it can make us feel better in times of despair (Bruce Springsteen).

When natural (or horribly man-made) disasters happen I am glued to the television. Watching the sadness and fear in faces,  hearing stories of death and survival, and honestly feeling like I will never be able to really do anything to help beyond writing a check to do something because I am not as self-less as I can be. I got so obsessed with the news coverage from Katrina I had nightmares. I wouldn’t let myself do it this time with Haiti. I couldn’t stomach it because I was so wrapped in my depression I couldn’t take on more.

But I’m a music lover so I watched the Hope For Haiti Now telethon, and not only did I discover and finally see coverage of the awful, gut-wrentching situation. I was horrified. My first thought was “I want to adopt to Haitian baby.” Now I know I can’t do that at this time, but I still want to do something. I’ve considerad volunteer opportunities but I’ve been lazy and spending too much time thinking about what I want to do, and not what really needs to be done or who needs the most help.

It’s hard not to be down at the state of the world. I’m angry about so many things in America, but I also realize I’m a  very lucky women.

So, now that this post has taken a completely different turn from the beginning, I just want to vow this: this year I will volunteer and on a very different note, I want to make more iTunes playlists…and write about how the songs I’m into a certain week is also like a journal. I miss making mix tapes, and I wish I still had many of them. They are an audio diary of our lives, and that’s important to me.


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