Bored

Okay, so this writing three times a week thing is ambitious. I’m working on it. Here is something I wrote while at work Monday (and ends abruptly).

How do you get over the boredom in your life?

Because I’m terribly bored of writing different versions of the same press releases, e-newsletters, program descriptions what-have-you, I started paying more attention to my real life–my outside of work, personal life. Every since I turned 31 I’ve been on some quest find out what makes me tick. I’ve pushed myself to try new things, and for the most part my self-experiment has worked. A few months ago I started tap dancing class, and I really like it. This Wednesday I start a pottery class. I’m trying new hobbies in the hopes of striking some chord within myself that I wake up one day with an “A Ha! Moment” and instantly know what I want to do with the rest of my life. The only thing I know for sure is this office environment is slowly killing me. The days seem so long, my work so unrewarding, and the fact I have little respect for my nonprofit organization mixed with my menopausal boss sure make waking up in the morning difficult. I don’t even like who I’ve become Monday through Thursday. I’m grumpy and withdrawn and smile the same fake smile and make the same simple pleasantries day after day. Truth be told I don’t know what I want to do anymore day after day. I always wished when I was little I really wanted to be something–sure I had my phases: actress, singer, journalist, radio DJ…but nothing I felt passionate enough about to pursue. After journalism and radio classes in college I knew it wasn’t for me. Maybe I gave up to easily because one teacher said I had a voice for lite FM, and I also could never write a decent lead. But I didn’t have the kind of cravings kids do to be a pilot or a doctor and there was no coercion into running a family business. So finding out what is next is terribly frustrating because I have interests: interior design, writing, culture (high, low-brow, and pop included), crafting–but I don’t know how to make those work for a career or if I want to make those work for a career because I’ll lose something. Like I used to love going to bookstores to get coffee and read magazines and then I spent nights and weekends in my early 20’s working a second job at Border’s and my feelings of hanging out in bookstores forever changed.

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Filed under Human Behavior, Musings

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